Term 4 Written Language

WALT write a character description of a person we know very well.

We know we have achieved this when we …

-    have written about the person’s physical appearance (the way they look).

-    have written about the person’s behaviour (how they speak or act).

-    have written about how they affect other people (what do they do to make you notice them).

-    have written about the person’s environment and belongings.

-    used descriptive words to make a picture in the mind of the reader

My Dad by Maxim Nurpeisov

My dad’s name is Marat. He has black hair and a brown-white skin colour, light grey eyes and also a happy smile. He has a hair cut. He has a short haircut every time but not every day. My dad works in a shop called New World and he’s the oldest person in my whole family. He is funny because he tells me jokes and he laughs with his friends. He wears lots of colourful clothes.

Feedback:

Well done Maxim. I like your first two sentences. You have tried to write how your father looks. You need to add some more details to make things clearer as I still do not have a very clear picture in my mind.

Next steps:

1.    Maybe you could write a simile to make things clear as to how tall he is and what build is he e.g. My dad is as tall as…..

2.   Choose to start your sentences with different words instead of always using “He”.

3.   Refer to the WALT criteria to see what else you can add.